"There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscious."
I am exhausted. I am stressed. The combination to the two equates to the fact that I am cranky. Very cranky. Not to mention, the four hours of reading in front of me certainly isn't the mood enhancer I'm looking for. Now that you've read my disclaimer, please move to the next paragraph.
I'm finding so many disappointments in my university community. Maybe it is the early onset of Senioritis. Hopefully not, because no medication could possibly cure that (and even if it could, health insurance certainly wouldn't cover it.) Still, my sense of disenchantment and lack of motivation is astonishing to me because I have never faced it before.
This was brought about through my entry into the honors program of my university. I've been assigned mountains of extra work for three words on my diploma - three words that after I enter the workforce, no one but my first employer and myself will remotely care about. And, somehow, graduating Suma Cumlate sounds cool anyway, even without graduating through the honors program. Why do I need the extra three word addition to validate myself.
The truth is, I don't. I know it will only matter for a bit, and will become insignificant when I enter my first job. The truth is, I need it to prove myself - to prove that I'm more intelligent than your average student. I'm doing it for a shallow reason. For that, I am embarrased.
Still, when I think about the reasons, I'm sure very few people do it for self-betterment. Focusing on the course work alone would provide that. So is it really that bad?
Short entry today, I know. I'll be back with a vengence when the homework and two jobs ease up a bit.
Until next time, sweet dreams.
--The Sleep Deprived Student